Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Film Review: "Dolan's Cadillac"

I could barely contain my excitement when I happened across a movie entitled "Dolan's Cadillac." All other priorities were relegated to ancillary responsibilities. A select group of courageous individuals braved the viewing session with me. Let's say up front that the movie sucked, but I loved it. My film review begins below.

The film is the cinematic adaptation of a short story penned by the famed author Stephen King. As I have found with the majority of other such King-inspired movies, this one is less than Oscar-worthy. I am nearly 100% sure it went straight to DVD, which is never good. The plot line is an incredibly simplistic, with no notable plot twists to speak of. Not to say it is predictable, but it is a basic revenge tale with little originality (so I suppose you could say it is predictable). The premise of the movie goes as such...

Recently-married teacher Elizabeth (Emmanuelle Vaugier) witnesses a multiple homicide committed by Sex-trafficking mafioso boss Jimmy Dolan (Christian Slater). While waiting to testify and send Dolan to prison, Elizabeth is murdered by the Boss's cronies. Her husband, played by Toby Mcguire-wannabe Wes Bentley, goes on a classic downward spiral, fueled by anger and desire for vengeance. Bentley does not quite accomplish the feat of conveying his emotions in a believable manner, giving a somewhat robotic performance not unlike Hayden Christianson in the most recent Star Wars movies (Episode 2 and 3). Slater, on the other hand, owns his role as the slimy crime lord.

The most exciting and most enjoyable scene of the movie occurs at about the midway point. A gang of Chinese mobsters try to whack Dolan by peppering his Custom Cadillac Escalade (the inspiration for the movie title) with machine-gun fire. However, the impenetrable fortress protects Dolan, allowing him to return fire, turning the tables on the bewildered thugs. While driving away from the scene, Dolan exclaims "Nobody shoots f***ing JD," a line which I loved.

The revenge plot created by Bentley's character, Robinson, is clever, and takes up the last 45 minutes so or the movie.

For all intents and purposes, the movie sucks. However, every time I heard the name Dolan uttered on screen, I let out a small cheer. If the movie were entitled anything but "Dolan's Cadillac," it would have been abysmal. However, due to the fact that the main character's name is Jimmy Dolan (my Dad's name), the movie's value increases significantly. Overall, I award "Dolan's Cadillac" with a rating of 5 out of 10. All this really means is that unless you know someone named Dolan (which if you are reading this you obviously do), or are under the influence of some sort of substance (which you should not be), then you should probably skip it.

You can basically watch the whole movie in this 3.5 minute "trailer:"

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