Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Film Review: "Dolan's Cadillac"

I could barely contain my excitement when I happened across a movie entitled "Dolan's Cadillac." All other priorities were relegated to ancillary responsibilities. A select group of courageous individuals braved the viewing session with me. Let's say up front that the movie sucked, but I loved it. My film review begins below.

The film is the cinematic adaptation of a short story penned by the famed author Stephen King. As I have found with the majority of other such King-inspired movies, this one is less than Oscar-worthy. I am nearly 100% sure it went straight to DVD, which is never good. The plot line is an incredibly simplistic, with no notable plot twists to speak of. Not to say it is predictable, but it is a basic revenge tale with little originality (so I suppose you could say it is predictable). The premise of the movie goes as such...

Recently-married teacher Elizabeth (Emmanuelle Vaugier) witnesses a multiple homicide committed by Sex-trafficking mafioso boss Jimmy Dolan (Christian Slater). While waiting to testify and send Dolan to prison, Elizabeth is murdered by the Boss's cronies. Her husband, played by Toby Mcguire-wannabe Wes Bentley, goes on a classic downward spiral, fueled by anger and desire for vengeance. Bentley does not quite accomplish the feat of conveying his emotions in a believable manner, giving a somewhat robotic performance not unlike Hayden Christianson in the most recent Star Wars movies (Episode 2 and 3). Slater, on the other hand, owns his role as the slimy crime lord.

The most exciting and most enjoyable scene of the movie occurs at about the midway point. A gang of Chinese mobsters try to whack Dolan by peppering his Custom Cadillac Escalade (the inspiration for the movie title) with machine-gun fire. However, the impenetrable fortress protects Dolan, allowing him to return fire, turning the tables on the bewildered thugs. While driving away from the scene, Dolan exclaims "Nobody shoots f***ing JD," a line which I loved.

The revenge plot created by Bentley's character, Robinson, is clever, and takes up the last 45 minutes so or the movie.

For all intents and purposes, the movie sucks. However, every time I heard the name Dolan uttered on screen, I let out a small cheer. If the movie were entitled anything but "Dolan's Cadillac," it would have been abysmal. However, due to the fact that the main character's name is Jimmy Dolan (my Dad's name), the movie's value increases significantly. Overall, I award "Dolan's Cadillac" with a rating of 5 out of 10. All this really means is that unless you know someone named Dolan (which if you are reading this you obviously do), or are under the influence of some sort of substance (which you should not be), then you should probably skip it.

You can basically watch the whole movie in this 3.5 minute "trailer:"

Monday, August 2, 2010

Bring me the Horizon

No, this is not in reference to the hardcore band (pictured here). Rather, it is the cliche metaphor for the future, the next phase, tomorrow, etc. On August 22nd, I will be moving to Boulder, Colorado. People keep asking me, "what are you going to do there." Well, my answer is an honest one "I am going to live my life." I am going to have the time of my life. Why Boulder? That's an easy one. The terrain and community make it one of the best places not only in the country, but in fact, in the world, to pursue an active, outdoor life style. And that, my friend, is exactly what I want to pursue.

Who knows what will or will not happen out there, but the potential for achieving incredible happiness and purpose in life is endless in a place like Boulder. It is paradise. Swimming, biking, running, hiking are all absolutely incredible. Why else would so many world-class athletes train there? I will be an incredibly small fish in a gigantic pond (ocean?), not even a blip on the radar screen, but that is fine. Perhaps my training endeavors will allow me to achieve my dream, and wiggle my way into the neo-pro ranks. If this is to happen, living and training in Boulder will be a huge factor. But even if that does not happen for me, the process is what I truly enjoy. There is no feeling quite like the one that you get after a six hour bike ride, or a long run on the trails. It's pure bliss, pure happiness (when you get over the exhaustion and soreness). Where better to feel this happiness than Boulder?

Even in an injury-riddled racing season, filled with disappointing results, I cannot fathom the idea of giving up. So I'm going to Boulder. Why the hell not? I love Rochester, and I will miss it dearly. I will miss my friends so much. But it's time for an adventure. Let's go have some fun and chase some dreams. I can feel that thin mountain air already. I can see the mountains. Let's do it. Bring me the Horizon.